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The Vandal
'''The Vandal '''is the eleventh episode of SBFW Quest. It aired December 29, 2018, and was written by Purple133. Transcript (Episode opens at Sean’s lair in ESB) Sean: Golf, please come hither. Golf: Could you stop talking like that? It’s getting kind of creepy man. Sean: Well the attack on Fanonland will commence in a few weeks. Prepare the armies! Golf: Sure thing! (Camera cuts to a hooded vandal ruining the side of the castle; Alt is sleeping and wakes up) Alt: Hey you! Stop or I’m going to lose my job! (The hooded man flips Alt the bird) Alt: Grrrr! (The man runs, and Alt enters the castle) Alt: Hey Princess Ponyo, somebody vandalized the page castle! Princess Ponyo: Wait, who are you? Alt: The new night guard you hired. Princess Ponyo: Oh. Well you failed so now you’re fired. Alt: No this is my only source of income! Princess Ponyo: Fine. Catch the vandal, and you can stay. Also, I’m pairing you with Bot for MAXIMUM SECURITY. Bot: Hello, want some illegal crack? Princess Ponyo: This is the most trustworthy man we have. Alt: (sarcastically) Yep! Okay! (Bot and Alt walk outside) Alt: We should question people to see if they know anything! Bot: Yes, I have some narcotics to make them say stuff. Alt: Are you crazy?! (Alt and Bot arrive at Purps’ house) Bot: FBI OPEN UP! Purps: Shit! They found the child porn I was stashing for Travis! Alt: Wait what? We came to ask you if you know anything about the vandal. Purps: Yeah, I saw him run to SuperPulls’ house. Bot: That’s where FD used to live. Alt: Then we have a lead! (Alt and Bot go to SuperPull’s house) Alt: Hey hey, have you seen FD running around? SuperPulls: Yeah, I’m pretty sure I saw him in a cloak headed to ESB Land. I hear that the purple trees are beautiful this time of year over there. Bot: Amazing. (At the ESB Lair, Sean and Golf are drawing battle plans) Sean: Thank god our main import is paper! Golf: What? We were talking about the battle plans and out of nowhere you go, ‘Thank god our main import is paper!’ Sean: Don’t question my logic. Where is FD? (FDBackup arrives in a black hood, like the man from earlier) FDBackup: I’m right here. I did the thing, can I get paid now? Sean: No. Golf, lock him in the dungeon. FDBackup: You know I’ve never sworn, but you guys are really pushing it. Golf: Sorry about this. (FD is carried to the dungeon as Bot and Alt arrive at the door and ring the doorbell) Bot: Hello? OPEN THE DOOR! Alt: Calm down Bot! You might piss them off, they already hate our kind. (Golf opens the door) Golf: Hey, you guys aren’t supposed to be here! Bot: Get out of the way we need FD. Golf: I’d be happy to turn him over to you. Bot: Yeah, nobody cares what you think just give him to us. (Golf gets mad) Golf: That hurt my feelings jerkwad. Bot: Jokes on you I have no feelings. Alt: Hey, we came to get FD, where is he? (Golf runs and a biker gang emerges from an underground garage) Golf: Now you will take on MY PACK OF VANDALS! Mwuhahahahahahahaha! (The bikers speed towards Fanonland) Alt: Bot, activate protec mode! Bot: No. (Bot and Alt run to stop the biker gang) Alt: Hey you stop it! (One biker flips off Alt) Alt: Again?! (The bikes vandalize the walls hardcore) Bot: No! ACTIVATING LASER BOT. Alt: Laser bot? (Bot shoots a laser beam and obliterates the biker gang) Alt: JESUS CHRIST! Bot: Hey hey, it’s my final smash. (Alt and Bot report back to Princess Ponyo) Princess Ponyo: So??? Alt: FD vandalized the castle walls and sent a biker gang to try and take them out. Also, we think he was hired by Sean. Bot: ‘Tis concerning. Alt: Since when did you get a conscious? Princess Ponyo: Whatever. We will have to declare war upon ESB! Alt: Hey wait, if we do that we’ll lose! Princess Ponyo: Well I think that it’s the only option. War it shall be! (Episode almost ends, but there’s another scene) Alt: Guys, FD broke out and he’s coming here. Purps: EVERYONE GET THE FUCK DOWN! (FD arrives on a motorcycle) Purps: Wait how do you have a motorcycle in *midevil times*? FDBackup: No clue, I think this might be a time dump. Alt: No clue what that is. FDBackup: Whatever. I’ve come to make a truce with you guys, do you accept? Purps: Sure. (Now episode ends) Jack: I’ve finally made it to Wendy’s! Mom come quick! (Now episode really truly ends)Category:SBFW Quest Category:Episodes Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2018 Category:2018 Episodes Category:2018 Transcripts Category:Purple133